hair removal - Chinatown; Bangkok, city of angels

hair removal – Chinatown; Bangkok, city of angels (Photo credit: Sailing “Footprints: Real to Reel” (Ronn ashore))

I have been thining a alot lately about what being a woman means to me. I have also been thinking even more about raising a daughter. I want Rho and I to help our children develop self-awarness and a very strong sense of self-acceptance and self-worth.

I can’t help but wonder about the ideas society feeds into the minds of young people, especially young girls. I am working on another post and I hope to wrap it up soon, but in the meantime I’ve  been thinking about some reading I’ve been doing. I read this Daily Mail article and then this post by Curvaceous Dee. But what started it all off was this  article on xoJane.com. After reading that, what I really wanted to do is share a comment I made on xoJane.

My comment:

I am a woman with facial hair. I have PCOS. I have facial hair and I shave every day. It has been a part of my life since I was about 13-14 years old. My family made fun of me, other kids made fun of me. I hated it and I guess I still do. I was over weight most of my life and never felt the hurt and shame over my weight that I felt over my facial hair. I am one of those women that if I could remove it for good I would. However right now I can’t. I will attempt laser soon because I have lost half my body weight and my hormones are more normal, the laser has more of a chance of working. I will say, I have not let my facial hair control my life. I work in retail, I got to school on campus with tons of people and I am semi-socail. I do find myself not using eye contact the way I want to. And becoming nervous at times because I can tell that people are talking about me. I have been called sir more times than I can count but the only thing that doesn’t look fem. about me is the hair. Fact is many times people only see what they want to see. I have much respect for the women that allow the hair to grow and just as much for those of us that shave, tweeze wax ect.

I have had a lot of self-reflection since I wrote this comment. I am still not sure where I stand on my hair issue. But, one thing I have been working on since that night: eye contact. I am not ashamed of who I am. The hair on my face does not define me and I want to be sure to show that I am proud to be me, even when I struggle with aspects of my appearance.

Now, going back to being a mother to a little girl. My kids are aware that mommy has facial hair, there is no hiding this fact. My daughter and I have talked about it a few times. I have explained that most women have hair on their faces to some degee or another. My face just has more than most. I explained to my daughter that I choose to deal with the hair in my own way and that its ok if I want to let it grow or if I want to keep removing it. I also told her that as she grows she will get hair in most places of her body and that it is a very natural thing. I try to keep these conversations as simple as possible. But, I really want her to know that it is OK to be different, even when I am struggling with this part of myself.

These conversations I have with my daughter are not easy sometimes. But, the fact is, all around us women are portayed to be slim with clear smooth skin.  How can we really expect children to grow up confident if we do not have these candid conversations with them?

What I can’t help but wonder and what is difficult for me sometimes is how I can explain that there are some things I don’t like about myself but I do LOVE myself. I don’t want my daughter to become hyper focused on any one thing about her body. I have struggled with self-confidence for as long as I can remember. It has only been in recent years that I have broken through and I am really starting to see the really wonderful things about who I am.  As she grows older I want her to understand that she doesn’t have love her every feature to love herself.

I know that all of us struggle with things we don’t like about our bodies. I think though that we really need to find those things that we love about our bodies and give them more focus. Self-acceptance is such an important thing.This is one small aspect of my never ending journey to self love and acceptance. I am glad that I was able to write it down. I think that talking about the “hair” helps me to not feel as ashamed about it. I am pretty sure that I will not change my mind about attempting to have the hair removed or reduced but I would like to get to a place where my feeling about my facial hair do not cause me to avoid eye contact. If I do in fact want to help empower my children, I know that I must learn how to better empower myself.

Advertisements